the book "The Way To Love" has resurfaced in my life this past month. years ago i had read the first chapter or two and don't remember anything other than it spoke to something inside me very clearly. likely too much to absorb at the time or met by unwillingness to actually let go of my way of living and change, i had not gone back to the book until there was nothing left but to embrace a time to grow. the words in the book offer a way to cross over boundaries of perception and reality that have been keeping us from ourselves, others and all of life. it is time to uncover the LOVE of which we all are a part, rid ourselves of the fear and ego that penetrate our lives. with the world whirling around us it is so hard to just sit in the middle of it all and find our light, our truth, the way to LOVE.
i have always been able to sense or see things that are intertwined with what the eye sees.. that is seemingly hidden. it is said we all have a deeper sense and knowing. often times i can be in someones company and sense things that most people don't want others to know even exist in them. the parts of oneself that struggle to find peace or happiness, wanting confidence, wanting acceptance, the insecure or sad parts we don't like having in ourselves, that we hide behind our smiles or declarations of happiness. i can feel the restlessness in myself and others that comes from looking at the world and seeing no real good in it or purpose. seeing the fear that drives what we consider "bad behavior" in each other. seeing that fear rules our thoughts, actions, and beliefs so much of the time. i struggled to get what i wanted out of life while desperately trying to get to this state of freedom the easy way... through people, places, things and circumstance. i was searching for someone to come along who saw things as i did so i wouldn't have to feel so alone, i wanted a validation that even if i am different in ways from others i am still okay. the last place i was willing to go was within myself. until now i haven't been able to have the clarity i have been in search of and the longing for this past year of something to really change... when i lost who i was before. i slowly slipped away from my beliefs and my light. THANK GOODNESS because the who i was before i completely lost myself.. was actually only a tiny part of who i am. i was still looking for my outside circumstances to change so that i could finally be happy FOR REAL. if all these details of my life would just be a certain way i will be happy.
so that model broke and shattered into a million tiny pieces. i stand on new ground massively uncomfortable yet a strength and peace come from it already that give me faith that i can have my ceiling fall in, lose people, homes, things, jobs, career, friends, social circles, i can have no heat when it's 29 degrees... i can watch humans indirectly and indirectly hurt ourselves and themselves and this world around us, mindlessly destroying things that are so much a part of who we are AND STILL BE FREE AND HAPPY.
Profit and Loss
"recall the kind of feeling you have when someone praises you, when you are approved, accepted, applauded. and contrast that with the kind of feeling that arises within you when you look at the sunset or the sunrise or Nature in general, or when you read a book or watch a movie that you thoroughly enjoy. get the taste of this feeling and contrast it with the first, namely, the one that was generated within you when you were praised. understand that the first type of feeling comes from self-glorification, self-promotion. it is a worldly feeling. the second comes from self-fulfillment, a soul feeling.
here is another contrast: recall the kind of feeling you have when you succeed, when you have made it, when you get to the top, when you win a game or a bet or an argument. and contrast it with the kind of feeling you get when you really enjoy the job you are doing, you are absorbed in, the action that you are currently engaged in. and once again notice the qualitative difference between the wordly feeling and the soul feeling.
yet another contrast: remember what you felt like when you had power, you were the boss, people looked up to you, took orders from you; or when you were popular. and contrast that worldly feeling with the feeling of intimacy, companionship-the times you thoroughly enjoyed yourself in the company of a friend or with a group in which there was fun and laughter.
having done this, attempt to understand the true nature of worldly feelings, namely, the feelings of self-promotion, self-glorification. they are not natural, they were invented by your society and your culture to make you productive and to make you controllable. theses feelings do not produce the nourishment and happiness that is produced when one contemplates Nature or enjoys the company of one's friends or one's work. they were meant to produce thrills, excitement - and emptiness.
then observe yourself in the course of a day or a week and think how many actions of yours are preformed, how many activities engaged in that are uncontaminated by the desire for these thrills, these excitements that only produce emptiness, the desire for attention, approval, fame, popularity, success or power.
and take a look at the people around you. is there a single one of them who has not become addicted to these worldly feelings? a single one who is not controlled by them, hungers for them, spends every minute of his/her waking life consciously or unconsciously seeking them? when you see this you will understand how people attempt to gain the world and, in the process, lose their soul. for they live empty, soulless lives.
and here is the parable of life for you to ponder on: a group of tourists sits in a bus that is passing through gorgeously beautiful country; lakes and mountains and green fields and rivers. but the shades of the bus are puled down. they do not have the slightest idea of what lies beyond the windows of the bus. and all the time of their journey is spent in squabbling over who will have the seat of honor in the bus, who will be applauded, who will be well considered. and so they remain till the journey's end." ~ the way to love anthony de mello
i have always been able to sense or see things that are intertwined with what the eye sees.. that is seemingly hidden. it is said we all have a deeper sense and knowing. often times i can be in someones company and sense things that most people don't want others to know even exist in them. the parts of oneself that struggle to find peace or happiness, wanting confidence, wanting acceptance, the insecure or sad parts we don't like having in ourselves, that we hide behind our smiles or declarations of happiness. i can feel the restlessness in myself and others that comes from looking at the world and seeing no real good in it or purpose. seeing the fear that drives what we consider "bad behavior" in each other. seeing that fear rules our thoughts, actions, and beliefs so much of the time. i struggled to get what i wanted out of life while desperately trying to get to this state of freedom the easy way... through people, places, things and circumstance. i was searching for someone to come along who saw things as i did so i wouldn't have to feel so alone, i wanted a validation that even if i am different in ways from others i am still okay. the last place i was willing to go was within myself. until now i haven't been able to have the clarity i have been in search of and the longing for this past year of something to really change... when i lost who i was before. i slowly slipped away from my beliefs and my light. THANK GOODNESS because the who i was before i completely lost myself.. was actually only a tiny part of who i am. i was still looking for my outside circumstances to change so that i could finally be happy FOR REAL. if all these details of my life would just be a certain way i will be happy.
so that model broke and shattered into a million tiny pieces. i stand on new ground massively uncomfortable yet a strength and peace come from it already that give me faith that i can have my ceiling fall in, lose people, homes, things, jobs, career, friends, social circles, i can have no heat when it's 29 degrees... i can watch humans indirectly and indirectly hurt ourselves and themselves and this world around us, mindlessly destroying things that are so much a part of who we are AND STILL BE FREE AND HAPPY.
Profit and Loss
"recall the kind of feeling you have when someone praises you, when you are approved, accepted, applauded. and contrast that with the kind of feeling that arises within you when you look at the sunset or the sunrise or Nature in general, or when you read a book or watch a movie that you thoroughly enjoy. get the taste of this feeling and contrast it with the first, namely, the one that was generated within you when you were praised. understand that the first type of feeling comes from self-glorification, self-promotion. it is a worldly feeling. the second comes from self-fulfillment, a soul feeling.
here is another contrast: recall the kind of feeling you have when you succeed, when you have made it, when you get to the top, when you win a game or a bet or an argument. and contrast it with the kind of feeling you get when you really enjoy the job you are doing, you are absorbed in, the action that you are currently engaged in. and once again notice the qualitative difference between the wordly feeling and the soul feeling.
yet another contrast: remember what you felt like when you had power, you were the boss, people looked up to you, took orders from you; or when you were popular. and contrast that worldly feeling with the feeling of intimacy, companionship-the times you thoroughly enjoyed yourself in the company of a friend or with a group in which there was fun and laughter.
having done this, attempt to understand the true nature of worldly feelings, namely, the feelings of self-promotion, self-glorification. they are not natural, they were invented by your society and your culture to make you productive and to make you controllable. theses feelings do not produce the nourishment and happiness that is produced when one contemplates Nature or enjoys the company of one's friends or one's work. they were meant to produce thrills, excitement - and emptiness.
then observe yourself in the course of a day or a week and think how many actions of yours are preformed, how many activities engaged in that are uncontaminated by the desire for these thrills, these excitements that only produce emptiness, the desire for attention, approval, fame, popularity, success or power.
and take a look at the people around you. is there a single one of them who has not become addicted to these worldly feelings? a single one who is not controlled by them, hungers for them, spends every minute of his/her waking life consciously or unconsciously seeking them? when you see this you will understand how people attempt to gain the world and, in the process, lose their soul. for they live empty, soulless lives.
and here is the parable of life for you to ponder on: a group of tourists sits in a bus that is passing through gorgeously beautiful country; lakes and mountains and green fields and rivers. but the shades of the bus are puled down. they do not have the slightest idea of what lies beyond the windows of the bus. and all the time of their journey is spent in squabbling over who will have the seat of honor in the bus, who will be applauded, who will be well considered. and so they remain till the journey's end." ~ the way to love anthony de mello
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