The last month has been a reckoning. Spirit, life, body, and mind jolted from a path i had revolted for a long time. Viewing life from ten feet behind my eyes.. sharp moments, only seconds long of being present to the silence released by my pain.. i had not known for so long, it had been in disguise. Finally i was awake and aware of just how far i had gone. Time passing like a dream, each second ten thousand minutes long. Looking at a tree, watching the minutes and hours pass... it came crashing into this one moment with all the force of what always belonged. All of it turning around me dark and cold, holding on to remain... while i sit in the eye of the storm... all has yet to pass on the other side of this old hurricane.
I remember when i was eight, a hurricane, hurricane alisha came through houston texas in august. My parents were away and my grandparents had come up from galveston to stay. When the news came of alicia family and friends came into our home for safety for days. I remember sleeping on a huge pallet on the floor with all my cousins. The bathtub was filled to the brim with water, windows were completely taped and if anyone but my grandmother opened the frig door you would have had the "fire popped out of you", all held hostage to the storm outside.. for days. Then the eye came the sun shone bright and the sky was completely clear. My grandfather Commander Samuel Tharp opened the door and told us to get our suits. Everything was calm yet with our eyes we could see all the evidence and broken trees. Our pool was filled with all the bits of nature and man that had been tossed about so forcefully it seemed obvious that nature did not care. We swam in the pool that day around the trees and leaves, shingles, branches and dirt and there was this peace.. of truth that we could never be hurt.
What if i knew your love before i knew your name. What if i allow others to feel their discomfort that binds them by me living, feeling and expressing the pain. What if i remember it was the tortoise not the hare that won that race. What if i open up freely to the pain we have all felt or will feel one day. What if all my wounds and scars were carried with me before when we were parts of a dying star. What if i rediscovered LOVE. What if there is nothing in any of us that is really broken, what if we can clear our minds and realize who we are. What if i can believe in what really is and hold that space no matter what human action brings the illusion of disgrace. What if i can hold true to only wanting LOVE for me and you not as in anything other than the space that surrounds us and brings us LOVE. What if i only can slowly move along, each day becoming more strong feeling the unwinding of this pain as a song. What if these moments in time blow my mind to remembering who i've been all along. What if i can be in LOVE in that way that only wishes for each of us to know real LOVE whether or not we got to stay or need to be gone.
The storm is passing and i am in the eye, in that still water with the trees to swim around with the sunlight shining down... realizing the other half not as strong as what's just passed.. is coming soon. I hope I get to see the moon tonight, bathing me in the truth of all that's light. I've seen people. I've been witness to LOVE. Sometimes we lose things and people only to remember who we are. Sometimes we set people free. Sometimes it all has to happen just so we can realize we haven't been who we are meant to be. Set each of us free <3 br="">
I remember when i was eight, a hurricane, hurricane alisha came through houston texas in august. My parents were away and my grandparents had come up from galveston to stay. When the news came of alicia family and friends came into our home for safety for days. I remember sleeping on a huge pallet on the floor with all my cousins. The bathtub was filled to the brim with water, windows were completely taped and if anyone but my grandmother opened the frig door you would have had the "fire popped out of you", all held hostage to the storm outside.. for days. Then the eye came the sun shone bright and the sky was completely clear. My grandfather Commander Samuel Tharp opened the door and told us to get our suits. Everything was calm yet with our eyes we could see all the evidence and broken trees. Our pool was filled with all the bits of nature and man that had been tossed about so forcefully it seemed obvious that nature did not care. We swam in the pool that day around the trees and leaves, shingles, branches and dirt and there was this peace.. of truth that we could never be hurt.
What if i knew your love before i knew your name. What if i allow others to feel their discomfort that binds them by me living, feeling and expressing the pain. What if i remember it was the tortoise not the hare that won that race. What if i open up freely to the pain we have all felt or will feel one day. What if all my wounds and scars were carried with me before when we were parts of a dying star. What if i rediscovered LOVE. What if there is nothing in any of us that is really broken, what if we can clear our minds and realize who we are. What if i can believe in what really is and hold that space no matter what human action brings the illusion of disgrace. What if i can hold true to only wanting LOVE for me and you not as in anything other than the space that surrounds us and brings us LOVE. What if i only can slowly move along, each day becoming more strong feeling the unwinding of this pain as a song. What if these moments in time blow my mind to remembering who i've been all along. What if i can be in LOVE in that way that only wishes for each of us to know real LOVE whether or not we got to stay or need to be gone.
The storm is passing and i am in the eye, in that still water with the trees to swim around with the sunlight shining down... realizing the other half not as strong as what's just passed.. is coming soon. I hope I get to see the moon tonight, bathing me in the truth of all that's light. I've seen people. I've been witness to LOVE. Sometimes we lose things and people only to remember who we are. Sometimes we set people free. Sometimes it all has to happen just so we can realize we haven't been who we are meant to be. Set each of us free <3 br="">
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