when i was 17 years old, at boarding school, in sedona we had room study every weeknight for 2 hours we had to stay in our rooms to do homework. a teacher who identified themselves as an alcoholic decided to take some students who might want to check out a.a. meetings into town at night once a week to the meetings... as luck would have it... during room study! naturally, myself and a few of my closest friends decided WE WANTED TO CHECK IT OUT, makes me smile and laugh to this day. what was wrong with the teenagers who didn't want to go? haha. we were allowed to make a stop at the convienance store AND not have room study?? how could we refuse such an opportunity?
i look back on that time now with more love and appreciation than i could at the time. well, we were required to get a sponsor as a show of dedication in order to continue to go. sedona, a small town the meetings were filled with all older men. i asked a man named rick to be my sponsor. i can't recall what he looked like anymore except that he was in his 40's had short brown hair, and a small build. this man instead of taking me through the big book and the steps gave to me a book of poems. what i remember is that specifically in that book of poems he marked "If" by Rudyard Kipling and told me to read it everyday. it broke my heart then and does even more today. this poem became a benchmark for me, a reminder, a guide to living my truth and it's taken this long to even notice there have been moments i have achieved some of these ways... and A LOT more times that i haven't even come close.
rick changed my life in those few hours our paths crossed, a gift from the universe. my eyes were open... i hope rick is living in LOVE wherever he may roam. i am sharing this poem because it's one of the most simple road maps to get out of ego, stop listening to fear and the mind and live fully in LOVE no matter what external circumstance brings. we can influence reality by being the LOVE we are in truth. We have internal "knowing", intuition... mostly we just ignore it and let the past and "programming" ( intentional or not) dictate how we view ourselves and the world around us. we do have the power within ourselves to find the truth of LOVE, not romantic love or attachment but LOVE... it will require discomfort and times of loneliness and disconnect BUT we can strengthen these unused muscles that are our birthright and find our way home. we can change our world and not give way to fear, we can live and breathe knowing all we ever wanted, longed for, felt separate from is always here, within us. <3 p="">
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
-Rudyard Kipling
i look back on that time now with more love and appreciation than i could at the time. well, we were required to get a sponsor as a show of dedication in order to continue to go. sedona, a small town the meetings were filled with all older men. i asked a man named rick to be my sponsor. i can't recall what he looked like anymore except that he was in his 40's had short brown hair, and a small build. this man instead of taking me through the big book and the steps gave to me a book of poems. what i remember is that specifically in that book of poems he marked "If" by Rudyard Kipling and told me to read it everyday. it broke my heart then and does even more today. this poem became a benchmark for me, a reminder, a guide to living my truth and it's taken this long to even notice there have been moments i have achieved some of these ways... and A LOT more times that i haven't even come close.
rick changed my life in those few hours our paths crossed, a gift from the universe. my eyes were open... i hope rick is living in LOVE wherever he may roam. i am sharing this poem because it's one of the most simple road maps to get out of ego, stop listening to fear and the mind and live fully in LOVE no matter what external circumstance brings. we can influence reality by being the LOVE we are in truth. We have internal "knowing", intuition... mostly we just ignore it and let the past and "programming" ( intentional or not) dictate how we view ourselves and the world around us. we do have the power within ourselves to find the truth of LOVE, not romantic love or attachment but LOVE... it will require discomfort and times of loneliness and disconnect BUT we can strengthen these unused muscles that are our birthright and find our way home. we can change our world and not give way to fear, we can live and breathe knowing all we ever wanted, longed for, felt separate from is always here, within us. <3 p="">
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
-Rudyard Kipling
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