not claiming any special rights here. . . living my life driven by a hundred forms of fear, attaching myself to the ever changing external circumstances to be the salve for my soul while all the while searching for the state of wholeness, freedom and love that is my/our birthright. science shows us that everything is connected... an internal sense is aware of this without science proving it.. but most of the time the chatter of our minds keeps us from hearing it clearly.
it is always easy to get caught up in someone else behavior, words, actions and feeling the emotions of negativity and judgement. it is harder to step back and watch as an observer to see their behavior and where they are coming from as well as observe what it is in ourselves that is so disrupted by the external. i've had some experiences lately where i was able to see someones behavior, watch it, allow it and then see that their mind had disrupted their sense of happiness and joy.. they too were lost in the distortion of fear and became "sick" from it. once again allowing me the opportunity to observe when i myself am in a state of "sickness" and distortion.
today i became aware of a distortion in myself that is the presence of unworthiness. the inability to receive love in context of a romantic relationship. i feel worthy of love and can receive it in other relationships and friendships, gifts from the universe.. yet when a deep LOVE shared and given arose i found that fear became overwhelmingly powerful and i was unable to trust and receive the LOVE shared and given. i faltered and shook with the underlying fear of unworthiness, that had existed within me long before this deep love came along. LOVE is reality and anything that is not of love is the dream, it is the distortion as is anything generated by fear. remembering that who and what we are is not merely the reality perceived by the 5 senses, rather this connected oneness to everything.
negativity and judgement lie within ourselves and usually driven by something unhealed within ourselves, a fear that we are not connected, we are not enough or the right kind. if it is possible for me to find compassion for my own state of being when disconnected from the truth: that i was born connected to everything, i am enough just as i am, that my differences are my beauty, i am the LOVE i seek then it is possible to find that same compassion for others who are suffering this path too. we are worthy of LOVE and happiness, of feeling good no matter what that damaging event, circumstance or childhood experience "told" us. may we each receive the medicine to heal these wounds, to remove the chatter of defeating thoughts or external circumstance and stand as the presence of LOVE we are in truth. may we uncover and reclaim our birthright as stardust to shine with our feet upon the earth.
Bring In The Poor
Think of someone you dislike--someone you generally avoid because his/ her presence generates negative feelings in you. Imagine yourself in this person's presence right now and watch the negative emotions arise . . . you are, quite conceivably, in the presence of someone who is poor, crippled, blind or lame.
Now understand that if you invite this person, this beggar from the streets and alleys into your home, that is, into your presence, he/she will make you a gift that none of your charming, pleasant friends can make you, rich as they are. He or she is going to reveal yourself to you and reveal human nature to you--a revelation as precious as any found in scripture, for what will it profit you to know all the Scriptures if you do not know yourself and so live the life of a robot? The revelation that this beggar is going to bring will widen your heart till there is room in it for every living creature. Can there be a finer gift than that?
Now take a look at yourself reacting negatively and ask yourself the following question: "Am I in charge of the situation or is this situation in charge of me?" That is the first revelation. With it comes the second: The way to be in charge of the situation is to be in charge of yourself, which you are not. How does one achieve this mastery? All you have to do is understand that there are people in the world who, if they were in your place, would not be negatively affected by this person. They would be in charge of the situation, above it, not subject to it as you are. Therefore, your negative
feelings are caused, not by this person, as you mistakenly think, but by your own programming. Here is the third and major revelation. See what happens when you really understand this.
Having received these revelations about yourself, listen to this revelation concerning human nature. This behavior, this trait in the other person that causes you to react negatively--do you realize that he or she is not responsible for it? You can hold on to your negative feelings only when you mistakenly believe that he or she is free and aware and therefore responsible. But who ever did evil in awareness? The ability to do evil or to be evil is not freedom but a sickness for it implies a lack of consciousness and sensitivity. Those who are truly free cannot sin as God cannot sin. This poor person here in front of you is crippled, blind, lame, not stubborn and malicious as you so foolishly thought. Understand this truth; look at it steadfastly and deeply; and you will see your negative emotions turn into gentleness and compassion. Suddenly you have room in your heart for someone who was consigned to the streets and alleys by others and by you.
Now you will realize that this beggar came to your home with an alms for you--the widening of your heart in compassion and the release of your spirit in freedom. Where before you used to be controlled (these persons had the power to create negative emotions in you and you went out of your way to avoid them) now you have the gift of freedom to avoid no one, to go anywhere. When you see this you will notice how to the feeling of compassion in your heart has been added the feeling of gratitude to this beggar who is your benefactor. And another new, unaccustomed feeling: You actually feel a desire to seek out the company of these growth producing crippled, blind and lame people, the way someone who has learned to swim seeks water, because each time you are with them, where before you used to feel the oppression and tyranny of negative feelings, you can now actually feel an ever-expanding compassion and the freedom of the skies. And you can barely recognize yourself as you see yourself going out into the streets and alleys of the town, in obedience to the Master's injunction, to bring the poor, the crippled, the blind and lame. ~The Way To Love
No comments:
Post a Comment